Whole #SingleTLM

I really wanted to do a video post about being whole but I filmed twice and it just felt wrong, so I decided to write instead. 

First off I can admit that I'm still working on myself so I'm not perfect by any means and doing these videos are really challenging me in the areas I where need to grow. 
As I continue to have discussions and do research I realize that there are few aspects of being whole that I didn't want to cram into a short a video clip, so here goes.

Whole: a thing that is complete within itself. 

I was going back and forth and after much thought and great discussion with some amazing singles and I came to the following...

To be whole we must focus on mind, body and soul.

Mind: it's important to keep learning. Whether it is a new skill, a new language it's important to keep stimulating your mind! Don't become stagnant or robotic as it will become evident that you have nothing to offer someone else. Keep pouring into yourself ... 

Body: My friend gave me this great quote: "Health is the greatest form of currency"! 

I have come to a point in my life where I am very aware of my choices where my health is concerned. I have to be because there are so many factors. The older I become the more I am aware of my habits, both good and bad and I have to decide daily to choose a better way. I do not always get it right but I strive to do my best... 

Soul: feed your soul! There are so many ways to feed your soul. 

Spend quality time with quality people. I always learn so much from those older than I am and I'm willing to listen where I can grow. Sometimes it's hard to hear truths about ourselves but it's important that we get to a place of reality and vulnerability in order to grow! 

Spend time giving of yourself to others. This is important! As singles we are very selfish at times (topic for another discussion) and it's important to learn how not to be in order to be compatible in relationships with others.

Our belief systems play a huge role in feeding our souls. As a Christian woman I live my life according to the bible and one of the scriptures I often meditate on is Matthew 6:30-33 MSG (I love the whole chapter but this stands out for me and I thought I'd share)

“If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.”

A few points I take from this:

1.TAKE PRIDE IN YOU, do his best for you! Work hard on yourself! Work out. Eat right. Pray a lot! Love yourself!!

2.RELAX- don't be so preoccupied with getting, so you can be open and aware and are able to respond to Everything God has given you and is continually giving you. 

3.STEEP (surround, fill) your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Be prayerful about God's timing and will for your life and be at peace with where He has you and what you need to learn there!!

4.Don’t worry about missing out. We often obsess about what is going to be and miss the Now of our lives, too busy thinking about what will be. 

We have to learn to rest in what is here and now... learn everything you need to right where you are. As Steven Furtick says tell yourself "THIS IS SIGNIFICANT"!

5.All your everyday human concerns will be met. 

Let's talk about the myth of two halves coming together to make a whole... 

I believe that this is what creates unrealistic expectations from our partners in relationship. 

The belief that someone else will fill in the missing pieces for me creates expectations that many times cannot be met. 

We expect our lovers to be our happiness our  everything when realistically our partners merely compliment or enhance what is already there... 

We can only love others to the level that we truly love ourselves. When we do not take the time out to love ourselves wholly, we do ourselves a disservice by expecting our partners to do our work for us. 

This is why i'm of the  belief that the time spent as a single gives us ample opportunity to really have introspection to find out who you are, what we need and what we are able to give and even how we receive... whether it be love, affection, attention, gifts, time. What are my love languages( a great book to read) what is my personality type (try 16 personalities.com) really get to know you, so you are not promoted to present a false image to someone in order to obtain acceptance.

Our time a single people offers us the opportunity to truly Love ourselves first so we are really able to love others... 

Ask yourself:

What Does Whole mean to me?

What does it look like for me? 

How do I get to that place and how will it benefit my future or current relationships 

Blessings Lois.